I Am 😨

With this week's somewhat heavier "I Am"s β€” I thought it would be nice to write about something a bit more chill. Something we could laugh at a bit.

My Fears

Now, I don't mean any super heavy or deep fears – I mean more along the lines of my annoying and somewhat ridiculous phobias.

1. Standing at #1 we have the bane of my existence: Needles.

Yeah, no. Hate those things. I never had an issue with them as a child. Actually, I was one of those "too cool to cry after a shot" kids. I'd stare defiantly and be like - "Nah, no need to count down – just go for it." Man, what happened.

Well, thinking back I believe I can pinpoint exactly when my outlook on needles changed. It was during a visit to the doctor with my sister – she needed to get an IV. All I can really remember is sitting there and watching them not being able to hit the vein right. Them having to try and try again. As I kid, I think that translated in my brain to: "Oh my god people are stabbing my sister.." Hated needles ever since.

I'm sure there are plenty of people out there with the same hatred of them as me, and for a good reason. They're just – there's not really a word to describe them. It's more of a sound – "gwuhhh." Yeah, something like that. I mean the thought of a thin piece of metal sliding into your flesh– Okay #2:

2. Bridges.

I guess this one is a bit more...stupid? Granted, bridges are kind of scary if you think about it. I mean, a massive structure that could collapse at any moment? Yeah, no thanks.

I love the irony as well about living in Portland – the city with what? 10? 15 bridges? Something along those lines.

This fun little fear of mine also has a bit of a backstory. I didn't always live in Oregon, for a while I was actually in Minnesota. And by awhile I mean around 5/6 years. My memory kind of sucks, but I always remember the day we were driving home from Minneapolis. We had just gone over the bridge about an hour before it collapsed. I-35

And you know those weird years when you were younger where you were just mature enough to understand certain things but just immature enough to shift them into something else. Pretty much what happened. Listening to and watching the news story after arriving home I understood that we were only an hour from being on that bridge. That – say, if we had left a bit later or gotten stuck in more traffic, we could have been on it. Then the kid side of my brain somehow took that and developed it into a fear that I still have today.

That's the weird thing about phobias. No matter how much you understand them, the reasons behind them, and even sometimes how unreasonable they are: you're still afraid. At least on a reaction level. You face it, and you sweat, shake, hyperventilate, etc. They're quite annoying, to be honest.

Speaking of annoying – I have a few things I dislike that I wouldn't quite classify under fear.

Clowns.

These are just creepy, and I highly dislike them. Not in a scream and run away out of fear fashion, but in a get near me and I will rip off that red nose fashion. I swear I'm not a violent person. My flight vs. fight response has just malfunctioned and is always stuck on fight.

Dolls.

Just no. This kind of falls under the same reasons and I've seen way too many horror films where a doll becomes possessed and kills everyone, so just no dolls for me. Thanks

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That sums up the basics of my little fears and phobias. Some have reasons, some are probably irrational, but hey – it is what it is.

What are some of your little fears?